Asking for Help: One Way to Deepen Relationships
- Apr 8, 2009
- Series: Newsletter Vol. 2 Num. 1
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As Christians, we are called to go against the tide of the world's individualistic culture to create authentic community. How can we foster the relationships that make that community possible? One way to bridge the gap between acquaintances and friendships is to ask for help.
It's counterintuitive: shouldn't we connect with others by offering them help? Yes; that is a great way to reach out! But if you want to truly share life with someone, the point comes when you must be open to their help also.
You don't have to invent needs; just be honest. Are you struggling with a project at home that could use someone to lend a hand? Do you need new ideas to refresh some area of your ministry? Or do you just need prayer for something on your mind?
It can be intimidating to open up this way. Even if you use your best judgment, a person you open up to may not respond in the way you expected. What's more, engaging in closer relationships always increases your risk of being hurt at some point.
But, if we want authentic community that shines the light of Christ's love to the world, we must be willing to take some risks! And the rewards of the deep friendships that result are irreplaceable.
I experienced the joy of being asked for help recently. I had been feeling sad and fairly useless, when a friend who I often lean on for help had a difficult event one day. He needed a listening ear, and I was able to provide that.
The amazing thing is, being able to help my friend made me feel better! I snapped out of my funk with a new sense of purpose. I was helping my friend, but he gave me the gift of being able to help him.
You've heard that "to give is better than to receive"? That means that when you are willing to receive, you're giving someone else the gift of giving. And the connection that results can mean much more for your friendship than if you only give and never receive.
Only giving and never receiving can hurt your relationship with God, too. We need God far more than He needs us (although He so loves us and wants us to be in His kingdom that He seems to need us, in a manner of speaking). But if we forget how to ask other people for help, we may very well forget how to ask God for help.
Furthermore, since often God answers prayer through other people, not asking for help from people may mean that you miss God's answer to your prayer!
Opening up to new friendships is difficult, risky, and sometimes frightening. But I have never regretted being a part of the open-hearted community that results.
Story by Rebecca Osborn.
